Life as we knew it!

Two ways communication: Unsaid words and over-expressed emotions.




Have you ever given a second thought on how a fight between any relationships starts? Where the flow of words originate? How they affect the other person? Why the anger initiates by itself and grows predominantly? Have you? If not, here’s a simple episode.



Any relationship works on the keyword “Trust”. And it exists only if balanced well. Well, balancing the words unspoken and the emotions expressed. You ask for a bike and your dad refuses. You ask for your favorite dish and your mother screws the usual taste. You ask for money and you brother forgets. You trade the dress and you sister steals it (unintentionally though). You explain something and your grandparents assume something else. You demand an answer and your girlfriend/boyfriend ignores it. Do you notice anything common on the above mentioned day to day episode in a persons’ life? If you do, it’s the words not spoken and the emotions that are fueling.



By emotions I don’t mean Love, Lust, Compassion, Acceptance and Surprise. By emotions I mean Sadness, Anger, Fear, Disgust and Anticipation. True that if emotions are un-expressed it leads to problems. But what happens when expressed more than usual? What happens when the other person is hurt by what you have expressed? What happens when you express something insane when not spoken to? It in turn BREAKS the relationship. It creates a gap which is so much unnecessary. It develops and the gap widens and the trust is finally broken.



So what if the trust is broken? Why do we even care? Why does it hurt? How does it bother you? When will you not stop growing? These are the questions that have to be answered. When the trust is broken the other person is shattered. Not literally but it in turn takes a very long period to build that trust back again. In some cases it never happens again. And the most fought about reason in any relationship is because of Over-Possessiveness. Possessiveness is the Poison. It leads to imaginary situational problems. When you imagine, you assume. When you assume, you conclude. When you conclude, you fight. And when you fight, you let out words. Not so deserved words, which are tough to digest. And then comes the climax: Tears.



How do you sort?

Actually, the right question here is, who are you to sort? Why do you even require an answer for other persons act? Since when did you think you were the genesis? My dear fellow social animals, please, like the famous service providers tag line goes: hearts reach when barriers are broken. Break the barriers. Not the hearts. Reach with words. Not with emotions. Be subtle. Not tough. In a nut shell, try in being a kid. Avoid the situation which warrants trouble and rub it aside. And let me not hesitate to quote my most favorite lines from a poem:

And miles to go before I sleep.

And miles to go before I sleep.

The Love I have for my Bike and HAD Gals, I only wish that evening didn’t happen!

I was in my 2^nd year of UG education and my college life already sucked big time. It is mandatory to have the following during your college life:

1.       Bike (occasionally you can sneak out your Dad’s car)

2.       Money (which involves only your daily Bata)

3.       GIRLFRIEND (s)

4.       Every weekend PARTY.

5.       BOOZE and Cigarette.

As far as bike was concerned I had a Royal Enfield. And I earned it from my dad after 24 months of fight. My dad and I had an oral agreement of a sum of 3000 as a pocket money per month during my college days. And 3000 a month to me was like “IS THAT ALL???” ‘Cause maintaining a GF worked out expensive than maintaining a bullet. Coming to girlfriend, it reminds me of my routine. I was in Arts College and she was pursuing her engineering. My college time was 3 in the noon to 7 in the evening and her timing was 7 in the morning to 5 in the evening. This means I had to bunk at least 2 hours of my class to see her on a daily basis.

So we ended up on a deal. I will bunk the last but one hour and visit her home every weekday and she will come out at 7 in the morning on every Saturday (her mom anyway didn’t believe that). And this involved me forgoing my sleep on every Saturday morning just to pick her up from her place and go to some Bhavan for breakfast and then go to Inox or Sathyam Cinemas (ironically I work with the latter now) to book tickets and go directly to Amethyst or Anokhi or some coffee shop to while away the time and then go back to the cinemas (which involve butter pop corn and pepsi) and then go out for lunch at 2ish and drop her back home (most of the time I ended staying with her at her place till her mom comes from work). NOW DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHY I WANTED MORE THAN 3000 BUCKS? ‘Cause this happened for 2 LONG years invariably on every Saturdays. And my friends were gracious enough to spend on me for the booze night.

What exactly did I do for the MONEY then? As explained earlier, I hated my college life and I called it an asylum because of its strict rules (not that I followed any), class timings (that I missed flirting and dating) and the very name “VIVEKANANDA COLLEGE”. One, it had a unique habit of donating books to the students. All the accounts books and tax books which cost 700-800 bucks were donated to all the students and I, in turn demand money from my dad saying I had to pay for them. Two, I passed on these books to my juniors and demanded half its MRP. Three, bike service. FOUR, I collect semester fees from my dad on the beginning and at the end of each semester. So technically speaking when everyone else had 6 semesters I had 12 semesters.

One fine day, balls it was one fine day. It was a stormy evening and was raining cats and dogs in Chennai. My girlfriend texted me saying:

“I’m stuck in the rain and the busses won’t run. Come soooooooooon sweetie…”

I replied, “WHAT?” When you reply with a What after they sent Sweetie, it means the gal will be offended.

And she texted back saying “Oh guess you are busy, let me not disturb you bye…”

I was like, WTF is wrong with her? I just asked What and that made her furious?

Macha, next two periods put proxy, I said and left to pick her up from her college.

On my way to pick her up (Oh wait, her college is in Sriperumputhur which is like 40 fucking kms from city limit) I noticed everything to be abnormal. The trees were horizontal on roads, the bus, auto-rick, cars piled up on the road like a mismatched dominos and most of all, I felt like having  rum.

But nothing seemed to bother me as I had a bullet and the bike will take care of me. All that extra money I took from home, I usually spent on those Saturdays or on my bike to do it up. With the twin seats and the open silencer, I enjoyed the ride every bit of it. And I had this strange feeling that all gals on the roads ogled at me ‘cause of the thump my bike produced.

I was proven wrong the very same evening. When, I was religiously following the roads that lead to my GF’s college another girl near that IIT Madras put her hand with a lift symbol and stopped me from riding.

For a fraction of second I forgot I had a GF and I forgot it was raining and I forgot I had to pick her up and I forgot I needed rum and everything around me started to look exquisitely beautiful with this girl on my left who wanted lift because it was raining. She looked like “ANY-GUYS-DREAM-WIFE”. With perfect jaw lines (when a guy explains jaw lines it is unsaid that she had the PERFECT CURVES). And I stopped my bike immediately to help this prospective GF of mine affected with the affected transportation only to know that she waved her fucking hands for the auto-rick coming behind me.

And she said “Anna Kotturpuram poganum…”

VODKA SHOTS, BEER AND PAROTTA AT WAYANAD!!!

By this time, failure was a part of my school life. 1st Term Paper Assessment – Fail, 2nd Term Paper Assessment- Fail, Unit Tests – Fail, ELECTION – Failed. But the whole class passed and that only boosted my confidence. This never slowed me down in ogling at girls, I still did.

Suchi… Yea, she was gave me company failing to pass in her bio group. The only difference being, she was in 12th. And I gave her mental support by staying back with her for the retention class and coming back with her in MTC bus. That’s the first and last time I went by a public transport and after that I had my bro’s bike to show off and to pick up Suchi. It was an unwritten agreement that I stayed back and accompanied her to home. And I loved that phase after a hard days work at school. As it only involved lust and passion and mushy talks and hush-hush smooch. Long walks by Elliots beach in rain is nothing but B-E-A-UTIFUL.

Few days passed like this and it was routine work at school with my Math unit test on Wednesday and Suchi and her sisters’ Bio practical exam on the same day. I started from home to school and Oana had called me in the morning to pick him up for school. As I hung up on him, Suchi had called me asking if I can give a lift to her for school. Oana shrunk back from my mind and it was my girl instead. I went to her flats to pick her up but, it was BUY ONE GET ONE SITUATION for me. Her twins’ sis was also in the same school, same group which means same practical exam. And I had to drive the sisters to school.

Firstly, I don’t have a license, secondly, my bro didn’t maintain papers for his bike and Thirdly, I was to go in triples in a bike (but riding on a bike with two hot looking babes was like a dream come true).

Via Adyar Thiru Vi Ka Bridge, which is connecting bridge from Adyar and RA Puram, I noticed sales reps giving me a weirdest look possible, noticed young mothers giving a look which conveyed, ‘thank gawd my daughter don’t know Mouli’, desperate uncles expressions’ were even more attention-grabbing, ‘I have space…one of you gals could join me!!!’ I pity you all haters and losers, I thought to myself and race throttled the entire bridge zip crossing Kaliappa signal and Life style signal and Mylapore signal without applying brakes.

Like I had spare balls on me, I parked my bike on the bike stand with two girls on my pillion and BINGO!!! Mrs Lalitha Jayaraman had a Gen X heart attack and all the other staffs from school had a cultural shock and the students merely just envied. And I was nervous for the first time not because I was noticed but what if the cop had issued a ticket?

Suchi, her blood sister and I entered the campus in unison. I least expected to attend my Unit test in Math and I already had chimera of my dad in Office room. I changed my reaction from exotic to abstemious. And that made my Principal even more distrustful. She stopped us and signed the sisters to get into her room.

Ten minutes passed and they came out and I smiled. I was called, they smiled and left. I entered her room like a self disciplined child and stood there subtle with no expressions on my face. “You bloody dirty rascal, despite my warning you have got your bike?” Thank god I thought to myself, Sisters Company wasn’t questioned, and that too with two girls on your pillion in school uniform. How dare you? I didn’t have a valid reason and hence stood numb. She literally RAPED ME WITH HER WORDS LEFT-RIGHT-AND-CENTRE. Wow, what a lexicon this lady has? I thought to myself. True, I was SHAMELESS.

She didn’t let me write my Math Unit Test and that meant one more red mark on my report card. This time, it wasn’t forged.

The only wise thing I did was paying my excursion fees a week before exams result. Thanks to Ashwin who advised me to do so. And hence, my management didn’t have any other choice but to take the ever failing student. My friends and I went shopping to Spencer’s at Mt. Road for excursion.

That evening I went to TASMAC (Govt. owned liquor shop) and got 12 cans of beer and a full Romanov Vodka. I held them in my hand like I held a baby girl. It was such an electrifying moment to have the ladies on my hand. I packed them in a carton and kept it at Thatha Kadai. Went home and my folks kept my baggage ready and mom had packed some club sandwiches for me and my friends.

At 1850 Hrs, Ashwin, Oana and I assembled at Central Railway Station in casuals. And I noticed all other fellow kalalayans in Uniform. This means, we guys were FUCKED. My class Teacher, Math Teacher and Sanskrit Teacher were responsible for punitive issues. They were checking guys’ bag if they had any electronic items and illegal products like tobacco. But I had something which would electrify mind and expostulate the opposite poles in my bag, and finally result in nausea (Vaandhi). Just as Ashwin’s and Oana’s bag were checked, I was next in queue and I did the same trick of coughing excessively due to congestion in chest and demanded for solidified mucus from my nostrils. Every bloody single person witnessed a young man dying coughing. I entered and sat next to Ashwin. “Macha enna da aachu?” he asked, meaning what happened? I smiled vivaciously and unzipped my bag to show the electrifying liquids to him. He was in shock and Oana was happy because I got him beer.

After dinner I went to the washroom in the train and lit a ciggy. Took long and pleasing drags because we guys were amidst all the girls and that gave me a self-righteous smile on my face. I came out of the wash room and noticed a mid aged person staring at me and that made me realize that smoking is prohibited in train, that too by a 17 year old guy. Took out my wallet and handed him a hundred rupee note to the railway employee. BRIBING is LEGAL though.

That night in the train no one slept…because of us. I went compartment to compartment and squeezed tooth paste on the brain ejaculating guys. Ashwin and Oana were partners in crime. And we did all bloody stuffs like passing comments, flirting with senior girls (I preferred older gals), fighting, dancing, singing and smoking in washrooms. At around 3 at wee hours, my schools SPL accompanied with his set of friends came in search of the rascals. They tried ragging us but we tried keeping the noise low while beating them up. Full on action guys.

Next day after about 3 hours extended journey by bus from Mangalore, we reached Wayanad at Kerala. 4000 feet above sea level and imagine taking Vodka shots? We were given a separate hotel and two of the staff members were staying at the same hotel. Next building, girls stayed. Oana, Ashwin, Ksu and I stayed in the same room. Ksu is an extempore joke cracker in our gang. He never smoked and never got drunk but humor was like a natural fart from his ass.

My brother advised that I don’t do any idiotic stuff when teachers are awake. And so we opened the bottles at 11 at night. 3 shots of VODKA each and few cans of beer, I was so bloody sloshed. So were the other rascals. And at 2ish we went down to get some food as against strict instructions from my teachers. At 3, came in two teachers near our room and I was smoking in the balcony of the room. Ksu rushed and sprayed deodorant all over the room and we sprayed mouth fresheners. “Enna da satham ingae?” asked our Sanskrit teacher, meaning what’s the noise? We stood silent and our not so called partner in crime, Ksu replied to all the questions he asked. To be true, I don’t remember anything what happened that night. But to portray the IQ level of my teachers, they didn’t bother asking us if we were drunk but noticed the PAROTTA on the bed. And we were drilled for that. For getting food from out. What a loser, I thought to myself.

Next day passed sight seeing and flirting with girls and night arrived and invited us for the vodka and the left over beer. But this time it was much more interesting. After gulping down the liquid, we three (Ksu was left back to handle situations) went to the next building to beat SPL’s ass and find some fun there. At around 2 we knocked the door and I was as usual sloshed. Santhosh opened the door and one punch on his nose woke up his friends in the room. 3 for 3 situations and it was hilarious fun. I was sitting on top of Santhosh grabbing his ears and banging on the floor. The other 2 groups were actually hugging eachother and fighting.

We came out of the room and remember I told you I was sloshed? So I knocked another room. Knock… knock… knock… Someone who looked pleasant at 3 at night I thought. BINGO… It was science group gals and as soon as they noticed semi conscious guy standing in front of their room, they started screaming the ass outta me. I started screaming too. We ran for our lives to the next building and turned off the lights to avoid mistrustful situations.

We were not so fortune, NEWS reached Chennai, Mrs Lalitha Jayaraman that is.

“Macha??? Namba life ae gaali da” I said, meaning we are REGALLY FUCKED.

“Chandramouli, Ashwin and Prashanth of 11 E, please come to the office room immediately.” Same intercom shouted at us.

What next??? Well, comment until then.

Quarterly Exams – Seniors Exchange Blows!!!

Right after I pleaded with my mom, I asked her if she could keep it hush-hush from dad. I should have expected this from her; she did tell my dad about the letter but kept the smoking part as under-cover. And I was less than unhappy to know about my mom’s act. My dad called me and just said one thing “Its your life…your education. If you prove it, you will succeed, if you don’t, you go to grave.” What the hell was my dad talking to his son? I thought to myself and nodded like a disciplined child. And he also said he will be humiliated to come to school and talk to my faculties about my letter matter and I agreed to what he said. And so he wanted me to handle the situation myself.

Next morning, at the office room, I stood like a murderer who is goanna plead to the judge for himself. And the judge was my principal. Where are your parents? She asked. Out of station ma’am, I said. Since when? She asked. From last night, after acknowledging the report card ma’am, I said. She gave me a grin which conveyed thousands of stuff but to me at that point it just meant “IS THAT ALL?” I interrupted her even before she could ask me any thing. Ma’am… What??? She asked. I’m changing my residence and this is my change of address, I said. Get it changed in office room, she said.

Hell YEAH!!! This is a part of my plan. Where in, if I give a change of address, all the letters addressed to my folks henceforth will be diverted. And I felt gifted for that idea at that moment. Imagine, even the letter of butchery would not reach my folks, I thought to myself with haughtiness.

In Hindi class, I enjoyed my presence merely because of Neethi. She was this Bharathanatyam dancer look-alike girl, who had the perfect sonata to make heads turn. She was not tall but definitely carried herself and carried my angels along too. I always sat opposite to her and ogled her with out getting sporadic and that made my senses recharge unimaginably.

Yeah, like I expected, quarterly exams were scheduled to start and already I have failed in Hindi and Math and Accounts in all my term papers. This means, I passed only in Economics, Commerce and English. I didn’t care much, as usual. As Ashwin got rank and Oana managed to get pass marks. And I was the only one to fail again. I still lift my collar. Like I cared.

“I’m getting rank,” I thought to myself but got distracted, easily!

I saw a girl in an internet café with my schools’ uniform and I saw the same girl exiting the café in Jeans and a top. Confused? So was I. But they were twins and my seniors. “You look cute; my sister said, said one of the twin sisters and exited.” Who me??? Are you nuts??? I thought to myself at modest and marched to my cabin.

Next morning, I notice her-I talk to her-I get her number-I chat with her-I roam with her-I date her-I went for a walk with her- I KISSED her- I took her for a ride (in my BIKE GUYS, okay, My bro’s bike)-I like her I thought to myself. The same evening I get a call. Someone said “Dai Baadu… Enna? Suchi oda suthariyame?” meaning are you the asshole roaming with Suchi? I hung up on the call as I was earnestly preparing for my exams. Bell rings again, bro picks up the call, “BEEP BEEEP BEEEEP BEEEEEP BEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEEP.” They are censored words and my brother just asked me “Yaaru da adhu Suchi?” meaning who is this babe Suchi? It’s the gal I date, who is my senior in Bio group, whom I have been kissing for a week now, who likes me like a nocturnal animal, who is cute-hot-SEXY too… I wanted to say. But just said, MY FRIEND anna. He looked at me differently in that 17 years and just said “Vandilae Yaeru” meaning get in the car. We went to the near by gym where he picked up his friends and they were all at least 6 foot tall with well built exaggerating physique.

We were now travelling in a jeep with three of my bro’s friend, my bro and me. Where are we going? I asked. Tell me who Suchi is? My bro asked. I explained him everything and I noticed my bro’s friends were envying me and I could felt the heat and so I stopped. “Then???” Asked my bro’s friend. Nothing I said, which I didn’t mean though. Pervert, I thought to myself.

The car then stopped in Mundakanni Amman Theru in Mylapore, opposite a police station. I panicked and realized Suchi’s ex boyfriend had called up and thinking it was me must have abused my bro. And my bro in return, being protective, brought all his friends to beat up this senior of mine who is Asst. Commissioners Son. They all got down and locked me up in the jeep (I told you my bro is protective). They spoke and spoke and spoke and BANG BANG BANG… My senior got his face RAPED from my bro.

Apparently, he was just a constable’s son and the guy who accompanied my bro was originally the Asst. Commissioners son. “Company” I thought to myself.

Next day morning my bro picks up me and Suchi and drives us crazy as well as to the school. He didn’t utter a word but that evening all his friends had come and my bro jus said “MACHA SEMMAE FIGURE DA AVA” meaning what a BABE? Pervert, I thought to myself. But later that week, my seniors were literally pissing on their pants to even walk across me. And I felt that the same wrestler was walking back to his den.
Ashwin, Oana, Ksu (interesting character in my class, a good friend too) and few other girls and babes enquired about the incident. And I virtually went on to elucidate the ACCIDENT to them. And just as I was finishing, Suchi came to the access strip and called me out (11th std guy going out with a 12th std gal, BABE was VIRAL). And she gave me a Cadburys Fruit and Nut. I relished… Not the chocolate but her presence and ASHWIN AND OANA savored the chocolate. Bastards…

As usual, failed in MATH-ACCOUNTS-HINDI in quarterly exams. Letters sent but to the wrong address. I go there personally to collect the letters and BURNT it myself.

Failed uninterruptedly in all my assessment. I didn’t CARE much as usual and Ashwin (THEVIDIYA) scored some 90 odd per cent ;-( Yes, the amount of hurt you get when your friends’ score is more than the hurt when you fail.

Results didn’t have an impact on my excursion. But my seniors did!!!

Needless to say… Comment until I post my next ;-)

First Fight in the Bathroom…

A few more weeks passed after that incident and we became so bloody close (The like minded people). I resided at Besant Nagar, right next to the beach. While Oana was in R.A.Puram and Ashwin in Mylapore. We guys became so close that if any one got hurt the other two would actually laugh literally bouncing on our asses.

French classes… Yes, I chose French as my 2nd language which eventually changed to Hindi after a month. We all waited for French sessions as other groups also joined for the class and that meant the girls too. There were very few cute looking gals and few hot looking gals and too many stinking-sweaty-guys. We hated them with passion. Who wouldn’t? They were all a bunch of wannabees calling themselves NERDS but they were good only at brain ejaculation.

Our French sir was a Frigging flowered up pot. He had this HUGE BEER BELLY but a very neat dressing sense. I mean, being a brand conscious myself I could witness the brands he was wearing. He was unmarried, beer belly, a very big forehead till the back of his ass (sottai) and a mustache. I don’t know why but from the very first class I knew he hated me. Probably because I was seen talking only with gals and he envied that. He always used to point his fucking index finger at me and questions me in French but that would sound fucking Greek to me.

So many French classes passed by and I noticed one guy called Allen Raveendran ogling at my girl. Yes, the same one inch taller than me girl. She was Miss Parasuram aka SP. And I hated that. So one fine day me and my gang (we were called the “BLOODY DIRTY RASCALS” by our Principal, Mrs. Lalitha Jayaraman) were standing aimlessly on the access strip waiting for the brain ejaculating wannabees to come and I so furiously caught hold of this Allen guy. I had an aversion towards Christians in my school days and that added to my fumes to hate him even more. I just swung my arm cross his shoulders and asked him “enna macha, you like her eh? ” He had no clue what I was asking about but I demanded an answer from him. He is this 6 foot tall guy who was dark as well and a very charming smile I should say but a lil’ bloated. Bell rang and we had to rush in to the class like trained dogs (that’s how it is in a school like SSK) and sat open with our text books. I still hate this Christian guy I thought to myself.

Few days passed and I got a call for appearing to the National Table Tennis Tournament happening at the St. Johns International School. And I was practicing day in and out with so much dedication that I bunked my term papers and unit test in SSK with out prior permission. (SSK had this unique way of testing students’ capabilities with Term Papers and Unit Test on Mondays and Wednesdays which added to the report card). But I gave zero percent interest in it forgetting what my principal had told me during the interview.

The D DAY… Tournament, the match was so bloody close with me and a Bangalore guy that I almost forgot I had a Unit Test on French. But my focus was on the orangish ball which rolled towards me across the net and FUCKING SMACK!!! It was a top spin and I won the final point which means my team won, which also means my club won, which also means “IT WAS BECAUSE OF ME”. I was literally jumping with joy along with the pin pong ball and entered my school campus in my trunks. I didn’t want to change because I wanted all the girls to notice the sports part of me with a Nike shorts and a Sleeveless Stiga sponsored T shirt and a sports bag hanging on my shoulders. But to my surprise, no sluts noticed.

My bad luck, it was French class when I entered my class and the beer belly stopped me before I could enter the class, he asked “where is your uniform?” Sir, ‘I had a tournament hence I’m in my trunks’, I replied. Have you prepared for the Unit Test? He asked and I looked at my buddies with an expression which said “yaen da naayae sollale?” meaning why the fuck didn’t you guys say it to me. I tried explaining the situation to him but he made me write the test and to the best of my knowledge I should have got a ZERO on my paper but he gave me 3 outta 50 and asked me to get it acknowledged from the principal.

I went down to the principals’ room and entered in like a sweaty pig which didn’t want to be slaughtered. I went in because it was air-conditioned and I enjoyed my presence in that room. I narrated the incident to her and pleaded with her that I change my 2nd language back to Hindi and to everyone’s surprise she nodded yes! I went back to my class with a note on my hand which said “Chandramouli P S no longer will stay in French class and he is shifting back to Hindi”. With out knowing the facts, the beer belly started smirking at me and all I did was smacked the letter on his table and said “French is History”. He was in shock and my friends were looking at me with a pride on their eyes and I just walked out and before I could step out I heard a voice which said “you will not escape my eye balls” I turned back and the expression conveyed only one thing “SCREW YOU, I’m in Hindi henceforth”.

Enemies took to the most of their advantage, including Allen but I left it to the discretion of my buddies who took care of the situation. A few weeks passed by, where I so didn’t enjoy learning the national language but had to do so just to prove a point to my folks and my principal. A few more weeks passed by where my buddies got close to the babes of French class and I remained close to them which meant I got close to the gals as well. One was VS Nandhini whom we called as VSNL and the other was Vaishnavi and we had hell of a time together where the brain ejaculating guys had a problem with me and my guys talking to the gals of their gals so much as I did with Allen talking to Shruti. But did I care? I cared shit.

Soon, there was a problem. Where Allen went to his class guys and complained about me and my rascals.

Did you know where the fight happened? It was in the washroom and it was situated at the end of the access strip of the so called “FIT FOR NOTHING COMMERCE group”. But we waited in unison to pounce on this hungry dogs like hungry wolves. As soon as they came in to the washroom (which had 5 urinal and 5 closets) I locked the main door and we guys (the rascals of the school) pounced on these bastards and started beating them up. Their ass was bleeding and they wished their fortunes came to their rescue but to their hell, nothing came to their rescue. Ashwin, Oana and I were sweating with pride on our shoulders and all we said in unison to these bastards was “if you complain this to the management you are SISSY”.

The next morning, news spread like VIRUS and all the 300 students knew we broke the brain ejaculating guys’ nose to the bleeding situation and we felt the angels were sitting on our shoulders with legs crossed…

We became the HEROES for the rascals of the school and Villains for those ejaculating from their brains. And I personally felt throned with this kinda situation.

So much did happen after this…But your palpable comments would appreciate me in carrying forward. Gilma is after all left…

First Day and First Gilma…

This will be the actual start of all the Gilmajak Gilmas in my life. Commencement of higher secondary 1st year (Yeah! That’s how I used to say and not 11th grade). A quick brief on the uniform, folks say the trousers are Biscuit color and the shirt with checks. But to me it looked SHIT colored…

And so I didn’t want to wear that on my first day of school and I wore white & White attire. I looked immaculately dressed I should say. Carried a one side Trunk&Co; with gold chain on my neck and of course Vibudhi on my forehead. A few of my seniors (girls) thought I was a spoilt brat. And I thought they were sluts.

I straightly headed towards my class on 2nd floor. It was a corner room on the beginning of the access strip and like advised I went to the last row and sat on the corner most chair. Next, a similar looking guy comes, with a chain on his neck and Kum Kum on his forehead. And another guy who was wearing highest index possible glass (soda buddi), some minus 11 or something like that. Similarities between us were ‘we all sat on the last row’.
The guy who came 2nd was Ashwin Kumar and the Soda Buddi was Prashanth K Verma aka Oana.

I was shocked to see Ashwin putting Kadalai with a 12th grade girl on the access strip. She was petite and cute. Oana and I were actually ogling at the girls and envying on the fact that this guy who looks no worse than I has already picked up the girl. He came in with a sense of victory on his face and sat in between me and Oana. I was so bloody curious that I asked him immediately “Yaar macha andha Ponnu???” (Who is that babe?) He first looked at me like I have asked for his pancake but then replied saying “Annavoda aalu da”, meaning my Bro’s gal. I sat back with no thorns on my bums. Yes, that’s how a guy feels when he knows that a cute gal is no longer his friends’ gal.

Oana broke the ice asking if we smoke, ‘dhum adi paengala da’ I said YES and Ashwin said a NO. For a fraction of a second I thought he will never have a girlfriend in his entire life but he proved me immoral the very next fraction saying ‘but I drink’… I was literally on cloud nine. When you get like minded people (like minded people smoke and drink and ogle) in the last row on the first day of a new school, that’s how it feels. Soon, I started focusing on my class girls.

Everyone stood up in unison and I was forced to do that too. “I’m Sridhar, your class teacher cum Commerce teacher cum Accounts teacher”…I shut me ears before he could say anything else. But thank god he didn’t. He must be few inches more than 5 feet with a Sandal paste on his forehead and Kum Kum in the epicenter of the paste. With his waist belt hugging him on his chest and crippled shirt which had 4 to 5 different inked pens and a note pad. As usual, he asked everyone to introduce themselves. By now I knew who my friends were ‘Ashwin and oana, they smoke, they drink, they ogle’ I wanted to say but just said my name and sat down. But my focus was still on gals. “Shruti…Preethi…Bhagya…” and how I wished I could get same kinda treatment in other groups also was just a failure.

Next day Ashwin was on the access strip and I joined him. First things first, “macha andha ponnu?” he said and with utmost care I asked him which gal? Yesterday during the introduction session he had fallen in love with this Girl who was fair-neat-cute-straight hair-and A BLOODY NERD!!! She scored some 90 odd p.c. in her 10th boards. He asked me if I noticed her. I nodded. And asked if I found my gal, I just pointed down to the gal. She was an inch taller than I (She still is) and she was pink in her face with no add on. Yes, guys need only a day to fall in love and for us it was just half a day.

Few days passed and we so desperately needed their phone number but couldn't ask them, EGO shit. So Ashwin and I planned for a major plan. ‘OPERATION OPEN THE BAG AND CHECK THE REGISTER’. Everyone had gone down to the van to move to the playground for P.T. class. Ashwin was busy digging Bhagya’s bag and got her register took the number and came running. I was at the door like a watch dog. I stopped him and pointed a bag at the last row, it was my gals. With his face on his ASS he went back and took hers too. Just as we turned…BANG!!!

It was our Class Teacher cum Commerce Teacher cum Accounts Teacher. What the hell are you guys doing here? He asked and before he could shoot the next question I started coughing like a TB patient and rolled on the corridor floor and caught hold of the bit paper which had the phone numbers and hid it under my socks. Ashwin went to fetch some water and the teacher ran to the office room to get some medicine. I looked t Ashwin and asked “how was my acting???”

Well, the gilmas just started with phone numbers and a lot more to come in future posts. Meanwhile, your palpable comments please.

My First Interview...

Sir Siva Swami Kalalaya Higher Secondary School…(SSK)

Two years of my divine life with my friends-enemies-faculties-1st crushes-first fight over them-first science commerce conflict (yaes yaes..I was a commerce student)-first foot ball tournament (just to show off to the chicks)-first elections-first and never ending intercom complaints about me and my buddies and lot more…
I am not changing any names and they are not fictitious either. Every bloody name in this blog is bloody well intentionally mentioned and I am not regretting it.
Well to give you a brief introduction about the school, when I was in 10th grade preparing for my boards my folks decided I change my school for my higher secondary education and before they could think of any school I got in the application forms for St. Michaels Academy (SMA) and all I could hear from them was an ardent NO. For which I still haven’t got an answer myself. (Just read in the local newspaper that the students in SMA dope and smooch, interesting? Little did I know that it wouldn’t interest my folks?)

And hence they decided that I very well pursue my higher secondary education in SSK. To my surprise, the school has been giving cent per cent results since it was started. A school for PADIPS as it’s called in Thamizh, a school for NOT-ME as it was called by my friends and relatives. I didn’t care much at all. All I did was just a little forgery to get in to the school, though I didn’t want to. Wondering what? Took my friends report card (the one who got 4th Rank in a class which had a strength of 63) and scanned it and revived my name with his. SIMPLE!
Some time in March, I got a call from SSK saying I have a One on One interview with the principal of the school, Mrs. Lalitha Jayaraman. The only lady I respect for what I am today.

My Dad and Mom were not mortified to be standing in front of a schools office for the first time (lol...they didn’t realize what would happen for the next two years), and I was right next to them like a Pazham(a fruit).

We entered her office cabin in unison. She greeted my folks with pleasure (probably the forged report card did make an impression about my parents’ upbringing). I stood right next to my folks like a trained police dog. First question, Mouli… you seem to be bright in science then why do you want commerce group?

Ma’am April fool, I wanted to say but with fullest attention I nodded and carried on to answer her question. Though am good at science its not my cup of tea ma’am. Then what’s your cup of tea? Was the next question revolted against me before I could reply her first question. Why is this woman so much in a hurry? Did she forget to turn off the gas or did she have a date with her husband? I thought to myself and replied saying I want to do MBA and I need an accounts background to understand the nuances of business administration.

Next question, I never expected this but it was not forged, it was real. Mouli, you say you are a table tennis player and would you pursue with it after academics? (Yes, I was a trained table tennis player and played for Tamil Nadu under 18). Without lifting my collar up I said “Of course, given a chance I would take schools name to a different altitude”.

BULL SHIT…

That’s what she said. I don’t want any Sachin or Ganguly in my school. But they are Cricket players and I am a table tennis player I wanted to say. I want my students to concentrate only on three things, 1) Academics…2) Academics and 3) Academics. For a moment I thought my parents were up for adoption and I had a lump in my throat.
Mrs. Lalitha Jayaraman was in her late 50’s and carried a charismatic look. I mean, she must have been a bomb in her college days. Very intellectual and a diplomat herself. All she said was “Mouli, promise me you would not be active in sports but studies and prove our mettle.” Did she jump to this conclusion because of my forged report card? I thought to myself. She then looked towards my folks and said “you must be proud to be a part of Kalalayan family and I assure you and your ward the best”. Naasamaapochu (well in hell) I thought to myself.

Yeah!!! Got selected… Then were my boards in which I scored 69%. Mrs. Lalitha Jayaraman would have had an heart attack. June 6th, was the D Day. My first day in SSK.

To be continued in my next Blog. Meanwhile I welcome palpable comments.